Atwoli Honours Daughter-in-Law’s Final Wish Despite Opposition to Cremation

COTU Secretary-General Francis Atwoli has revealed how he came to accept his daughter-in-law Maureen Achieng’ Nyadida-Lukoye’s decision to be cremated, despite his strong opposition to the practice on cultural grounds.

Speaking during her funeral service at All Saints Cathedral in Nairobi on Thursday, September 17, Atwoli said the decision was difficult for him because cremation was not part of his family’s traditional way of laying the dead to rest.

But he ultimately agreed to respect Maureen’s written wish after consulting her biological father, Samwel Nyadida.

Maureen, the wife of Atwoli’s firstborn son, Prof Lukoye Atwoli, died on September 7 after a prolonged battle with cancer. She was a mother of four sons.

Her family had announced that she would have a church service at All Saints Cathedral before being cremated on September 17.

The cremation subsequently took place in Nairobi after the service.

A difficult decision

Atwoli told mourners that Maureen had left instructions in her will expressing her wish to be cremated.

The request initially troubled him.

He said he eventually accepted it after Maureen’s father indicated that her final wishes should be respected.

“I was also unable to understand the cremation wish. I had to come to terms with the wish much later, after the biological father of my daughter-in-law stated that if that was Maureen’s last wish, she should undergo the process,” Atwoli said, according to reports from the service.

For Atwoli, however, accepting Maureen’s decision did not amount to changing his own position on cremation.

He told mourners that future members of his family would be expected to follow their traditional burial practices.

“I want to assure them that no member of my family I still have living... Yule atakuja na will, atapata the father of goons. It will go in accordance with our culture and traditions,” he said.

The remarks captured an increasingly familiar tension in Kenyan families: the balance between an individual's documented wishes and the customs of the wider family.

Remembering Maureen

Away from the debate over her final rites, the service was also a tribute to a woman remembered by her family as a devoted wife and mother.

Atwoli praised his son for remaining beside Maureen during her illness.

“It is not easy to get a good wife as my son did. She was not just a wife; she was a respected daughter in my family,” he said.

Prof Lukoye had earlier announced his wife's death in a short but emotional message.

“I will struggle to deal with this. So long, my dear. So long,” he wrote.

Family accounts say Maureen had been battling cancer for several years. Reports differ on the exact duration of her illness, with The Star citing a family member who put it at about four years, while tributes at the funeral described a longer battle.

Maureen had previously spoken publicly about her experience with cancer and the support she received from her husband during treatment.

A wider conversation about final wishes

Maureen's cremation has also brought renewed attention to the growing, but still culturally sensitive, practice in Kenya.

Cremation remains less common among many Kenyan African families, where burial continues to be closely tied to ancestry, land and traditional rites. At the same time, some Kenyans are choosing cremation and recording their wishes in advance.

A 2024 report by The Star on Nairobi's Kariokor Crematorium found that the facility was handling an average of about 40 cremations a month, suggesting that the practice, while still contested in some communities, is not new in Kenya.

The issue can become particularly sensitive when a deceased person's wishes differ from those of relatives.

In Maureen's case, Atwoli's account shows that the family ultimately chose to honour the written instruction, even though he personally disagreed with it.

Her final farewell therefore became about more than the manner of her burial. It also raised a deeply personal question for families everywhere: when a person's final wishes clash with long-held family traditions, whose choice should determine how they are remembered?

For Maureen's family, the decision was made to honour the wish she had left behind.

A celebration of her life is scheduled for Saturday, September 19, at Mulwanda in Khwisero Constituency, Kakamega County.

About the Author

Maureen Onyango is a journalist passionate about storytelling, life coaching and spiritual lessons. She studied at the Kenya Institute of Management and enjoys telling stories that inform, inspire and empower communities.