Nigerian-American actor and musician Rotimi has urged men to rethink what strength means, saying emotional maturity matters more in relationships than pretending not to feel.
Rotimi said men are often taught from childhood to suppress their emotions. Boys, he noted, can grow up hearing that they must be tough, remain silent and avoid showing vulnerability.
But, he argued, growing into a better man may mean questioning some of those lessons.
“Becoming a better man sometimes means unlearning what you were taught as a boy, like we were taught that we be tough and hide our emotions,” Rotimi said.
His comments place the focus not on whether men should have emotions, but on how they respond to them.
Rotimi said women do not necessarily want partners who appear unaffected by difficult situations. Instead, he believes they want men who can recognise what they are feeling without allowing those emotions to control their behaviour.
“A woman does not need a man who feels nothing; she needs a man mature enough to handle what he feels,” he said.
The point is especially relevant in relationships, where avoiding difficult conversations can create distance. For Rotimi, acknowledging emotions is not a rejection of masculinity. It is part of taking responsibility for how those emotions are expressed.
His remarks come amid wider conversations about changing expectations of men, particularly around vulnerability, communication and emotional wellbeing.
Rather than treating silence as a sign of strength, Rotimi's message is that men can be both emotionally open and responsible for their actions.
Rotimi and Vanessa Mdee
Rotimi's views on relationships also come against the backdrop of his long-running relationship with Tanzanian singer Vanessa Mdee.
The pair met in 2019 at the Essence Festival in New Orleans and later began a relationship. Mdee subsequently moved to the United States to be with Rotimi.
They became engaged in December 2020 and have two children.
The couple have also spoken publicly about their relationship, family and faith. In 2025, they discussed their life together in a joint interview.
Their relationship later faced public attention after rumours of a possible separation emerged in early 2026, with reduced appearances together on social media fuelling questions from fans.
Rotimi rejected those reports publicly, saying, “Hatuachani kamwe,” which translates to “We are not separating.”
His latest comments therefore offer another glimpse into how he views relationships: not as spaces where emotions should be hidden, but as partnerships that require honesty, self-control and communication.
Category: Entertainment
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About the Author
Eugene Stephen Were, popularly known as Steve O’clock, is a Kenyan journalist, digital media specialist and multimedia storyteller. He holds a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism and Digital Media from Murang’a University of Technology, with expertise in news reporting, environmental journalism, digital content, photography, videography and film production. Contact & Social Media: Phone: +24795699374 | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1BhhxUAYmk/ | Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steve_oclock__mwenyewe | TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oclockcityc.e.o?_r=1&_t=ZS-98czWCBnRxg
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